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  I turned my head to Justan, and he must have caught the movement, because his head turned too. So, why did you buy me? I wanted to ask, but I just couldn't find my voice. Where did it go? I have no clue, I guess the sun took it with it when it disappeared behind the horizon. "Uh Ju-" I sighed and looked back at my lap, shaking my head.

  "No! What?" He said quickly, pulling my face gently to look back at him. I just shook my head again, causing his hand to fall. "Please. I was enjoying talking to you; hearing your voice." I turned to him and raised my eyebrow.

  "Yeah, whatever. I just wanted to ask something, but you already said that I needed to wait about a week." I sighed again and watched my feet sway back and forth with what would have looked like a lot of interest. I was just thinking, zoning out, but no one would be able to tell that by just looking at me.

  "So, ask. I don't mind. You answered my question, and you deserve at least one answer." He said softly, and my gaze found hisbeautiful face again.

  So many questions ran through my head, but I knew that he would only answer one at the moment, so I picked out the best one I could think of. "Why did you buy me, why did you want me?" You look nice enough you could get any girl you wanted just by sending them one of those smirks of yours. I mentally kicked myself. No Lilli, do not think that. He can say all he wants, but you know he's just bullshitting you. You know it. That's my voice of reason, I like to call her Tiffany. Oh, so now you decide to help me?! Yes, I was talking to myself. And yes I named the little voice in my head that likes to give me advice. I'm not crazy, I just have a little voice in my head that tells me what to do. Oh, wow, I just might be crazy .....

  "Lillith?" Justan chuckled. "Did you even hear one word I just said?" No, you big piece of shit. Oh, shut up!

  "No, sorry." I blushed and looked at my lap.

  "Don't worry, I can repeat it. But, I would like you to tell me why you just spaced like that." His chuckle filled my ears again. His beautiful,sexy, sweet chuckle. Yeah, I should stop. I nearly blushed upon thinking this.

  "Okay, are you listening?" I nodded. "Alright, just checking." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I bought you because it was something important to your mom and my own. I can't go into much detail, but I will tell you that your dad fucked me over, and I had to spend a lot of money to get to you." He sighed, and I looked up at him. My...mom...?

  "I wouldn't put it past him." I laughed lightly, doing my best to pretend that he didn't just mention my mom. He gave me this look. I read it as 'So, you gonna tell me what was up with you?' ...But...that's just me. "Oh, um, well, I have a voice in my head, that tells me things from time to time, and I was talking to it." I said bluntly, looking back down at my lap. I left out the fact that I call her Tiffany, because what I said sounds crazy enough. If I told him I named it, I was more than likely to be sent to a sanatorium.

  "You're not serious." He said, but he sounded completely serious. Which made me completely nervous.

  "Yeah, I am actually." I looked back up to him to see his face was so unreadable this time....it scared me. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but two years with no guidance, and ... going through what I did....I just made up my own person. I -" I was cut off by Justan putting his hand over my mouth.

  "I don't think you're crazy Lillith, but I just .... well, you're a very strange girl." I just lightly pushed his hand from my mouth and laughed softly.

  "Yeah, I am. Maybe you should just return me and get a refund. I think I'm broken." I laughed, knocking on my head lightly with my knuckles, like knocking on a door.

  "Nah. You seem worth a lot more than what I paid for." He laughed as he grabbed my hand and pulled me off the cool bench and began walking toward where I think the house would be at.

  Chapter 13

  On the way home Justan told me jokes that made me laugh so hard I thought my gut was going to explode. I wasn't good at jokes, so I just let him tell them all the way there, and the trip seemed shorter than on the way here. I guess the saying "Time flies when you're having fun" is true, huh?

  "Oh, Lillith! I am so sorry! I don't know what happened earlier! Did something happen to Crys?" I was bombarded by Daneese as soon as I walked in the door, and my eyes widened at the name. Where did she hear that name?! Only one person I've ever met has dared to call my mom Crys, because mom would always say that was a man's name, and she was far from a man. Actually, there was only one person ever allowed to call her that. It was her best friend...what was her name...?

  "I- ummm ... How do you know that name?" I narrowed my eyes at her in suspicion.

  "Oh! I knew her, we wer-"

  "Mom! What are we having for lunch?!" Justan called from the door as he stepped in. I know he heard her talking to me. He was keeping something from me.

  "Oh, dear! I nearly forgot! Hold on a minute Justan, I'll go ask Claudia to make something. What would you like Lillith?"

  An answer. "Whatever Justan eats is fine with me." I smiled sweetly. "But only one plate." I added, giving an airy laugh. Daneese just smiled with a nod and headed off to the kitchen to tell Claudia we were hungry. I guessed that she didn't like the fact that Justan asked about lunch before she got an answer.

  "So, what are you hungry for?" I shrugged. Honestly, I wasn't hungry at all, I wanted to know what the hell was going on. "You're eating what I eat?" I nodded with a small smile. "Brave one." He snickered, and I followed him into the dinning room with a questioning look.

  "So, anyways, back to what we were talking about." Daneese said when I walked in, as if we were never even interrupted. "What's going on with your mother that made you so upset?" What about my answer?

  "She's .... dead ..." I said slowly. How did they not know about the past 2 years? If Justan bought me, surely Daneese gave him permission. Her face looked shocked, and sad. She looked as if she were going to cry, but at the same time, she looked like she didn't understand one word I just said.

  "But...how...she....huh?" She now sounded, and looked like a confused teenager that lost her best friend.

  "She's dead." I repeated, my emotions running cold as I ignored the pit in my stomach that always erupted with angry butterflies when I talked about her and what happened that day.

  "Since when?!" Daneese asked franticly. I just walked over to the table as if what we were talking about was no big deal at all.

  "2 years ago." I stated, I didn't really want to say it was my birthday, but if she kept pressing at it, I would have to.

  "When, 2 years ago?" She sat next to me, looking anxious. Why do you have to be so damned nosy?! Claireese came out with 3 plates that had 2 sandwiches that looked like a grill cheese and a bowl tomato soup set upon them neatly. She placed one of the plates in front of me with a apologetic smile, and I just gave her a reassuring one in return.

  "On my birthday." I said as I took a bite of one of the grill cheeses in front of me. Justan dropped the sandwich he had in his hand with his mouth hung wide open, and Daneese's hand was over her mouth the second the words passed my lips. They were both looking at me with wide eyes. "What?" I looked between them with a raised eyebrow.

  "Yo-you're so calm about it. Doesn't it bother you?" Daneese asked in amazement, after she removed her hand from her mouth. I just sighed and placed my sandwich back on my plate calmly.

  "If I knew that you wanted to know so much about my past and my feelings on the events that have passed, I would have written you a little essay about me before I came to stay in your home." I said bitterly as I stood up and left the dinning room. Daneese looked utterly amazed that I said that much, and Justan just looked confused. Probably as to why I was acting the way I was.

  I walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Thankfully, I'd memorized my way to the room, but no where else. When I opened the door, the first place I thought to sit was in my usual spot next to the bed, so that's exactly where I sat, and thought. Talking of my past, usually resulted in me thinking of it as well. Sadly, that's precisely what happened, but with much more detail than I would ha
ve liked.

  "L-lilli." My mom breathed out as she lay on the ground, blood slowly flowing out from under her. Most people have been long gone. It was just me, dad, and mom's family. But, everyone was screaming their heads off at the scene unraveling in front of our eyes.

  "Yes momma?" I asked softly, kneeling beside her. I knew she was dieing, and I didn't want her to leave, she just got home, she couldn't go.

  "I- I love you baby. Please remember that. Something is going to happen, and you might not like it. But, just know-" She drew in a rigid, shallow breath. "I did it for your own good, and because I only want what's best for you." I felt salty tears sting my eyes as her hand caressed my face softly. I leaned my face into her hand as I nodded.

  "I'll do whatever you want momma, just don't leave me, please." I cried out. She can't leave, she just can't, I'll be all alone.

  "Baby, don't forget I love you, okay? Please, always remember that for me." I nodded vigorously as I gently laid myself on her, giving her a soft hug. I felt her draw her last breath, she gave me her last words, and I was her last touch. I began to sob, begging her to come back, begging her not to leave me.

  "Lilli, sweetie, you have to let go." My dad said softly, not one tear staining his face. Why isn't he crying?

  "No!" I screeched. "She can't leave! She just can't!" I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me away from her dead body, and into a hug as my sobs shook my body violently.

  "Shh, it'll be okay. Everything will be alright." He mumbled into my hair, rubbing my back.

  My eyes slowly closed, and I fell asleep right there in my dad's arms. In the grass, beside my dead mother.

  I could feel something cold hit my hand that lay in my lap. My eyebrows scrunched as I brought that hand up to my face, gently touching beneath my eye. I was ... crying. I didn't even realize it! How can you cry and not know it?

  "Lillith?" Justan whispered as the door creaked open. For some, odd reason, I pressed my body to the floor, and pushed myself up under the bed. "Lillith, you in here?" He asked softly. I watched his feet walk over to where I was just sitting, then I saw his knees come into my view. His hand wiped the floor, and just then, I realized it was shimmering. I had cried so hard that I left a small puddle on the floor. That ... I dragged under the bed when my body swept across it. Damn!

  "What the hell are you doing?" Justan asked, amusement playing with his words, and he lay on the floor looking at me.

  "Uhh...hide-and-seek?" I offered, causing him to chuckle at me.

  Chapter 14

  "That's less than likely." Justan smirked at me with a raised eyebrow.

  "Uhhh... then I was...umm...looking...for..." I stopped, trying to think, when I saw a little box lying next to me. "This!" I said, grabbing the box, and pulling myself out from under the bed with my elbows, like army people do when they're crawling on the ground.

  "Ummm why did you want that?" Justan asked, looking confused.

  "I, uh, wanted to...uhh...look in it?" I offered, and his eyes widened, causing my eyebrow raise at him.

  "No! I mean- uh, you can't...that's...mine." He said, walking up to me, and just snatching it out of my hands like a five year old.

  "Hey! That's rude!" I poked his cheek, my mouth in a way that it looked as if I ate something sour, and my eyebrows scrunched together. My mom always told me it made me look like a little girl that didn't get her way when I did that.

  "Well, to bad. You can't look in this ... it's something my dad gave to me when I was little, and it's personal." Where is his dad? Justan took the little black box, that felt like velvet, and put it back under his bed. It looked like a little jewelry box, but I knew it wasn't, it just wasn't ... built like one, just looked like it. If that makes any sense at all, that's what it looked like.

  "Umm...where is your dad anyways?" I asked softly, in an innocent sounding voice.

  "He...umm...I don't really know." Just said, looking at his feet. What? How can you not know? I wanted to ask so badly, but decided against it.

  "Okay then, let's do something!" He looked up at me with a weak smile. I could tell that the topic I just got off of was a hard one for Justan, and that's exactly why I changed the it. I know what it feels like to be in a situation like that..but a little different.

  "Sure, what do you have in mind?" He said with a real smile..err...smirk...type, thing...

  "Umm...20 questions?" I asked, shrugging. I was actually up to it, until I saw his expression. "That is, without questions of my mom, or your dad." I sent him a camera smile, which he returned with a nod.

  We walked over to his bed, and sat across from each other. My back was facing the door, and Justan's was facing the wall, and we were in the middle of the bed.

  "So, you can start." I gave him another camera smile, and he began to think of his first question.

  Chapter 15

  "S-so wait. You use to let your dogs lick you in the mouth, a-and told your mom it was y-your girlfriend?!" I laughed, and Justan nodded with a small blush. I'd have to say this was the most fun I've had in the longest time. The most I've laughed or smiled too. We'd been talking for about 3 hours, and it was a lot more fun than I would have thought.

  "Hey! You used to roll in mud and eat it, telling your parents it was chocolate when they tried to stop you!" My face heated up and I stopped laughing, but small giggles escaped my lips. He had asked what was the weirdest, most childish thing I've done, and that's what I told him, and he told me about his doggy girlfriend.

  "Yeah." He looked at me with a sly smile.

  "How old were you when you did that?" My eyes widened and my cheeks heated more.

  "Ummm..." I shifted my eyes everywhere but his face, and finally, they caught onto his jet black blanket. "Twelve." I mumbled, and he began to laugh.

  "Don't worry," He chuckled. "I was fourteen when the whole dog bit happened." I looked up at him with wide eyes, holding back my laughs. "Yeah, I don't care if you laugh. I told you it was weird." At that, I burst into hysterical laughter.

  "What, recently, have you done that was childish, or stupid?" I asked with a smile after my laughter finally stopped.

  "Ummm, I snuck out and went to the ice cream shop. When I got home, my mom was waiting for me and I got on my knees and begged her not to be mad at me." I began to laugh again. "Yeah, it's funny, but it wasn't then." He sighed.

  "I don't really have any resents." I mumbled, looking at my lap.

  "Hey, don't worry about it, we won't talk about it if it makes you s-"

  "Justan!" I heard a voice that sounded really close to the one from the park call from the hallway.

  "What?!" He called, giving me an apologetic look. Then, Matt came through the door with a huge smile. That was, until he saw me, and it disappeared completely from his face.

  "What are you doing here?" He asked slowly, as if I would be mad.

  "Umm, Ju-"

  "She lives here dude. My mom wants to help her out, since she has no "woman figure" in her life any more." Justan interrupted me, and I sent his back a confused look.

  "Oh, okay. But, she ... doesn't stay in here ... right?" Matt, again, asked his question slowly.

  "Nah, she has her own room, we were just talking, since we are gonna be living together, we were getting to know one another." He said, and I could hear the fake smile in his voice.

  "Ah, alright. Justan, dude, let's go." Matt said, motioning Justan to follow him, and my eyebrows scrunched. What?! I didn't want him to go, I wanted to know why he just bold-face-lied to Matt. Why can't Matt know why I'm here? Why can't I know why I'm here?

  "Alright dude, let me use the bathroom real quick, I'll meet you down stairs." Matt nodded and smiled at me before leaving the doorway. Justan turned to me with a smile, which faltered when he saw my hurt and angered face. "What?" I just shook my head. I thought I knew this guy, but he just keeps getting more mysterious by the minute. "Alright, well, see ya later?" He asked, and I slowly shook my head again. He blinked and was about to say something be
fore I got up and walked out the room.

  "Hey, Lilli, can I talk to you for a second?" I heard Matt say once I was down the stairs. Once again, I shook my head in a slow manor, and walked toward the front door. Thankfully, I'd memorized the way to the dinning room, and the front door from Justan's room and vise-versa.

  I opened the front door, stepping out, and just as I was closing it, I saw Justan watching me with an unexplainable look from the bottom of the stairs.

  Chapter 16

  I wasn't far down the deserted road when I saw two lights coming from behind me.

  "Lillith, get in." I shook my head. I didn't want to get in the car, I wanted to walk. It clears my head, and I really wanted my notebook. I had an idea just buzzing to be let out. "Come on, please?" I shook my head again. I wrote poetry. Since I didn't have music to express myself, I threw myself into that. I've always liked poetry, always written it. But, it wasn't until after my mom's death that I really got into it. "Please." Matt tried again.